Someone asked over at the STXI anon-meme asked for a Jeeves/Spock story (GOD, could you IMAGINE the eyebrow wars? Hell, even McCoy could jump in and try to hold his own, McCoy’s got a hellava eyebrow himself there…) but all I could imagine was Jeeves and Wooster...crewing the USS Enterprise.

CAPTAIN!BERTIE!: I say, Jeeves, is this thing on? Oh, good, right-o. Captain’s Log, star date 22…er…I say, Jeeves? How do these bally star dates work again? Well, that doesn’t make much sense, does it? I mean to say, good lord, could Starfleet have made them more confusing, what?

Oh, right, um, Space! The final whatsit. These are journeys of the Starship Enterprise--


ALL THRUSTERS GO FOR QUICKIE CROSSOVER MADNESS!!! )

....AND SO ON. AND SO ON. OH GOD IT'S WRITING ITSELF.
Me: *sitting at the table, using teh internets and minding my own business*

Brother: ZOMG BLAH BLAH BLAH TV GEEKERY BLAH BLAH NONSENSICAL NOT-EARTH LOGIC BLAH!

Me: *has heard none of the above. Alice had nothing on me when it comes to A World of Her Own*

Brother: .........blah?

Me: *Bliss! Internet bliss!*

Brother: *eyes narrows*

Me: *Oblivious bliss!--wtf, is that a HAND creeping over my screen?!?!* Eh?

*Brother cackles as he pokes my keyboard and blocks my screen*

Me: DUDE! GTFO!!!

Brother: MWHAHAHA I in ur Fortress o' Solitood, killing ur doodz!!--

Me: *shakes fist!* CUUUUUUUURSE YOU LEX LUTHOR!!!!!


~*~*~



And to make this post not a total waste...Oh Justin. How I love thee. In Middle School I SCOFFED at such a thought, I KNOW! But now...*happy sigh!*



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At least I have the internet to remind me to ROTFLOL.

The 5 Most Bad Ass Presidents Of All Time

I'm so happy John Quincy Adams ranks ABOVE Andrew Jackson, you have no idea. EAT IT OLD HICKORY!!!

Some random quotes from the list:
"The bullet, by the by, remained in Jackson's body for 19 years because, we assume, Jackson knew that time spent removing the bullets would just fall under the general category of "time not dueling," Jackson's least favorite category."

And my friend [livejournal.com profile] rathbandu and I ENTIRELY just had this conversation too:

"JFK's sexual conquests allegedly include Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Jayne Mansfield, Angie Dickenson, Brazilian actress Florinda Bolkan, famous burlesque stripper, and rap name pioneer Blaze Starr. There are even rumors that he also had sex with his insanely hot wife once in a while too."
On the twelfth day of Christmas, ink_n_imp sent to me...
Twelve kickass scots drumming
Eleven spooks piping
Ten catholics a-leaping
Nine etruscans dancing
Eight vimes a-milking
Seven browncoats a-hellsing
Six rpgs a-crossdressing
Five di-i-i-isney movies
Four sherlock holmes
Three john adams
Two mel brooks
...and a chauvelin in a sir percy.
Get your own Twelve Days:


*BITES FIST AT LAST ONE* Oh god, brain bleach now please.

Back in Fishkill this week, digging on a new site. Nothing exciting, just shovel tests. Hoping against hope we'll be finished by next Thursday. Visiting [livejournal.com profile] vengefulbuddha this weekend, that is if I don't get HORRIBLY LOST between here and Northampton. Really, really, REALLY fucking tired right now. Is it Thursday? Can I has a Thirsty Thursday plz?

...I should update some more, but *dies*
...But in the meanwhile--


[livejournal.com profile] singealiene didn't believe me when I told her there was a comic that had Batman toting around a baby for a day as he fought crime. I says there was one. She says it was a webcomic. I claim ignorance, and my only defense is that it don't look like a webcomic to me.

Batman+baby=hilarity!


That is all.


EDIT: Yea...so...just changed "toking" to "toting"...cause you CARRY babies, you don't SMOKE them. *head desk*
ink_n_imp: (Ozma the Wise)
But I feel like posting, and by gum, I've nothing else to talk about. But first, a rather longish explanation as to why this post came to be.

Today was one of those glorious, late summer days that happen on occasion here on Long Island--the sun was shining, the sky was blue, everything was still green, and any other ridiculously sentimental dribble you can add to the above, by all means do!

I was meandering around the porch, only to discover that some of the figs on the fig tree had ripened! Now, I ADORE fresh figs; in fact I was of the habit of picking them for breakfast off of a tree on the NYU campus in Florence the semester I studied aboard. And if you might be of the mind to say "Silly Nella, why would you do that!"; rest assured I asked the president of the study aboard program if that was alright, to which he gave a wholehearted "YES!" It turns out NO ONE ate the figs off of that fig tree, and all those delicious figs would fall to the ground and rot away every year. And as I am cheap, figs make for a marvelous breakfast. Positively delicious, nothing like a freshly ripened fig. If you don't believe me, come to my house and try them for yourself.

So, I picked what I could, and ate what I could (saving some for the rest of the family, as one shouldn't be too greedy with figs) and meandered onward to find that there were ripened Concord grapes in the back of the yard as well! This has NEVER happened before--for years, I've stared all summer at the green, hard grapes in anticipation of what ripened Concord grapes might taste like to no avail--alas, they have always be snatched up by birds long before I could enjoy them in their dark purple glory.

But this year, there are GRAPES in the backyard, fully ripened Concord grapes. Now, I am aware that Concord grapes are usually only used for the making of juices and jellies, but I picked as many as I could and ate them as I walked about some more. I can honestly tell you to not eat the skins. They are bitter like beach plum skins (also in season now, and down by Long Beach to those who like to pick fruit in public parks), but the first tentative bite is wonderfully sweet. Even the gummy middle, that reminds one of tapioca pearls, is sour and delicious.

So, as I was eating fig and grape, the thought kept rolling through my mind that 'all was right in the world, the fig was on the vine'. And even though I KNEW that FIGS don't grow on VINES (DUH), I couldn't help repeating this ridiculous mantra to myself. It took me a while, but I finally realized that my brain was foolishly combining two of my loves; the Jeeves and Wooster stories by Wodehouse, and the American Revolution.

And if you don't understand how that could be, I've written this as the explanation, even if the punch line ended up FAR away from where I originally intended it to end. )
I've been watching "Leave it to Beaver" lately on TV Land network, and I'm currently watching a rather surreal episode, where the older son Wally has just joined his high school's all-boy theater group, and he has to play the dame.

...And Mr. Cleaver just reassured him that it's all in good fun and he used to do it with his fraternity in college.

...And Mrs. Cleaver makes him put the costume on and wants to see how it hangs in the back.

No. NO REALLY.

EDIT: Oh, and Mrs. Cleaver just admitted to having to play George Washington in high school.

EDIT: Wally: "Gee, Beaver, they have rules about letting girls into all boy clubs. Can't let them have that much fun."
It appears [livejournal.com profile] kathynancygirl and I have been furiously working on our papers all morning, and that's been doing strange things to our senses of humor.

You see, our papers have to be about Prions, a.k.a. them what cause those nasty diseases like Mad Cow and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and Scrapies in sheep.

Well, I've just finished mine...and I totally just used a Guns'n'Roses song title to reference Upton Sinclair's book.

As my last sentence.

I feel like I've just been adopted officially into the hallowed halls of anthropological writing.

*prints it and runs to class!!*
My God, they are like potato chips...I had to force myself to stop...

They all seem rather...EMO though.

Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
those are candy canes
on the light posts we forgot
we still had those up
@
Created by Grahame


Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
find her facing this
new black level of hell she's
been trying to make
@
Created by Grahame



Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
your note taking thing
is just disney's desperate
attempt to destroy
@
Created by Grahame



Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
and i included
a little sketch of what i
think we can all use
@
Created by Grahame



Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
the brooklyn bridge to
get away from it all and
ends up driving back
@
Created by Grahame



Haiku2 for ink_n_imp
i put on a crack
break your mother's back etc ooooh
that's a good thing
@
Created by Grahame



In other news, menstrual cycles make the snarky, evil evolutionist that lurks in my soul gaze upward to the heavens and yell:

"YOU CALL THIS INTELLIGENT DESIGN!?!?!!?!"
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I'm pretty sure [livejournal.com profile] zekkass introduced this CRACK! catchy song to me...


*CAN'T. GET. IT. OUTTA. MY HEAD!!!!!!!*

*gets back to studying Chemistry with this song playing in the background*

*sings along*

And if my cat looks scared,
it's because he knows
He won't be going to Heaven...



EDIT: This is dedicated to anyone who ever wanted to GOUGE they eyes out for the Black Hole of Time Filler known as "Atlantica" in Kingdom Heart 1 & 2
This is old news, but I'm yoinking the link from [livejournal.com profile] mosellegreen because some things are just too awesome not to share.

It turns out that on March 2nd, The Swiss invaded Lichtenstein.

~*~

Also, I think we can all use a little bit of the very scottish comedian Billy Connolly speaking about facing the many natural dangers of Australia.
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I'm holding on to the hope that come spring break, I'll triumphantly return from the dead, and you'll be hearing more from me.
1) Mix every disney character you've ever know EVER.

2) Have me and my friends replay our Halloween roles of all the Characters from Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

3) Have Aurora ([livejournal.com profile] sirenofaverne) get kidnapped by some as-yet-totally-unnamed-shadowy-evil.

4) Have that be the catalyst that starts ripping the world apart at it's seams.

5) Have all the Disney characters bemoan their fate and do nothing. UNTIL!--

6) The characters of Sleeping Beauty (i.e. my friends and me) rally round and figure out how to attack this BIG SHADOWY CASTLE OF DOOM in the hope that Aurora is inside.

INCLUDE: Original characters (which are little girls from the "real world" who want to be princesses just like the Disney Princesses...until they discover later that that means getting kidnapped by unnamed-shadowy-evil), a disgustingly pink and frilly bedroom as our Base of Operations, and a snarky narrator/meta voice griping about how this "straight to DVD" movie is just Disney's desperate attempt to brainwash parents and children into spending MORE money on Disney paraphernalia by making old Disney characters "Cool" again.

To which Merryweather (me) and Flora ([livejournal.com profile] adjectivegirl) take serious offence; Maleficent [livejournal.com profile] singealiene) just smiles evilly, as she's always been considered kick ass. Unlike us fairies.

oh, and there's also a good couple of minutes that Flora and Merryweather waste arguing over how: )

And then throw in a chase scene a la "Night at the Museum". With Disney characters.

Sorry, Aurora, but I don't know if we actually managed to save you, or if we even got to the castle! Because as soon as we finished getting our asses chased by said unnamed-shadowy-evil, my brain decided it had had enough of that, and it wanted to have a "Cabaret" themed dream instead.
GOOD LORD. GOOD LORD!!

Someone has combined Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" with clips from Jeeves and Wooster. The result?

White and Bertie
From the NYU alumni newsletter:

Watch NYU President John Sexton on "The Colbert Report"
Don't miss the chance to watch Stephen Colbert tell NYU President John Sexton why his opinions on everything are just plain wrong when Sexton makes his debut on the popular show The Colbert Report airing on December 6th at 11:30 PM on Comedy Central.

"I think the students will get a kick out of it," says Sexton, who is gearing up for the chance to match wits with the very opinionated and often acerbic Colbert. "A few weeks ago, a letter came to the office saying, 'I hear you teach a course called Baseball as a Road to God, and while I know nothing about baseball, I am a personal friend of God.' The letter got my attention."

From 1997 through 2006, Stephen Colbert was The Daily Show with Jon Stewart's longest-running and most popular correspondent. In addition to his role as Senior Political Correspondent, he was one of the hosts of the segment Even Stephven, a point-counterpoint assault featuring co-correspondent Steve Carell, and the host of This Week in God, in which he reported on all things theological with the assistance of the God Machine. In 2006 his popularity on The Daily Show led to a starring role on The Colbert Report, a half-hour nightly spoof on Fox News-style political talk shows.

Tune in to watch Sexton on Colbert Wednesday, December 6, at 11:30 PM on Comedy Central or catch the rerun the following evening, Thursday, December 7 also 8:30 PM on Comedy Central.



OH GOD I HOPE HE TRIES TO HUG HIM.
So, this speech is old hat for me--found it LONG ago, back in my rabid Sherlockian days. And if I ever pick up a Rex Stout "Nero Wolfe" book, this speech--given at the Baker Street Irregulars meeting in 1941--is the prime reason.

For you see, my dear f-list, Rex Stout puts before his fellow Irregulars the theory that Watson was a Woman.


*Loves her some 1940's fandom crack!*
OK....Jack Sparrow's compass points to whatever the holder wants most.


In the first fucking movie, whilst it is in the hands on Norrington, the damn thing is pointing at Jack. The proof is in teh screen cap!!!

Now, OF COURSE we can all just take this in the "but he's a pirate, DUH Norrington wants to get his hands on him!"

BUT I WILL TAKE MY SUBTEXT AND RUN WITH IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR!


EDIT: I desperately need a "Their one-sided hatred is love" color bar for Sparrow and Norrington, or at least something to that effect.




EDIT of an EDIT: Yes. Yes I am a very, very, very closeted Sparrington shipper. *wibbles* Davenport! I blame Davenport! And Depp playing the ambiguously sexual pirate! It's all their fault! I can't resist the snark and the one sided 'sworn enemies' and flamboyant dress!! I CANNOT!!




EDIT ON a plane: Hooray for fandom taking continuity and running with it!!!!!
You know the Oscars were BORING as HELL when all you really wanted was Clooney and Stewart to shack up and passionately embrace and have awesome, snarky hot asshole sex right there! Clooney/Stewart OTP FOREVER!1!!1!!1!

...and, that why I began regaling [livejournal.com profile] cherrysher with what would be the plot line of a Clooney/Stewart Real Person Slash (RPS) fic. Because I am sick in the head and love this shit.

Beware...CRACK lies ahead!! PLEASE...IT IS CRACK AND CRACK IS WHACK so if you don't want to think of me contemplating completely unrealistic real person SLASH PORN, just turn back and go now. Remember...George Clooney/Jon Stewart RPS.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

...I am going to hell for this.

So, the Clooney/Stewart fic starts out right after the Oscars ended, in that schmoozing/press release area... )

Now excuse me, I need to find me a handbasket to Hell. Or a fast car. Whichever euphemism you like best. But since I am going to Hell, well, I did it all for [livejournal.com profile] cherrysher.
http://www.superdickery.com/dick/15.html

This though, was probably the best episode of "the Adventures of Superman and Lois" or whatever that show was called.


It's so true!! so TRUE!!!
"It seems we may have a spark of hope… she's not the least bit frightened of me. In fact, I think… she seems to fancy me a bit. Or at least she's not running from the castle screaming in terror." Rayven explained as best he could.

So, never minding the fact that this is a HORRIBLE fic (point one: the Beast's name is Rayven. Rayven. WTF?!), poor old RAYVEN seems to think that it's a single step from "running from the castle screaming in terror" to "fancying". Poor old Rayven obviously doesn't read girls very well.

With the help of my enternal roommate [livejournal.com profile] singealiene I would like to present for you, the kind readers of my Livejournal, the many steps between "running from the castle screaming in terror" to "fancying":

1) Running from the castle, screaming in terror.

2)overt fear

3) Hiding under the bed

4) cautiously venturing out of the bedroom but only when in need of food

5) Slamming door in fit of teenage angst rage

6)sharp dislike

7)coldly ignoring the other's presence

8)dislike

9)mild dislike

10) Air of Discomfort when in the same room/ casual avoidance

11) Avoiding eye contact at dinner table while politely laughing

12) tolerence

13) Thinks is "okay"

14) Mild appreciation

15) nonchalant greeting

16) "Getting to know you" phase

17) Casual friendship

18) Recommending favorite books/reading poetry together

19) actaul friendship

20) Non-sexual activities, like making popcorn or a building a snowman!

21) Genuine affection

and finally....

22) Fancying.

And after this point, there's nothing but guilt and RAW RAW SEX!!!!


...Why does Marie Noire fill my life with such insane glee?

and here's the link, just so then you see what I mean...that is, if you can stomach it.
http://www.geocities.com/red_velvet_rose/beautybeast.html

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