ink_n_imp: (Smug bastard)
1) IS ACTUALLY QUITE ENJOYABLE--if you can pretend that is this a story about a chap that just HAPPENS to have the same name as Sherlock Holmes, possesses some of his characteristics, but is other wise AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON REALLY.

You know, sort of like in that Constantine movie.

2) I THOUGHT HOLMES AND WATSON COULDN'T BE ANY GAYER FOR EACH OTHER. I stand corrected.

3) SOMEONE READ REX STOUT'S "WATSON WAS A WOMAN" SPEECH AND THOUGHT IT WAS A JOLLY GOOD THEORY.

4) JUDE LAW!WATSON. YOU. MY PANTS. NOW.

5) On that note--so good to see that Watson's limp from his bullet wound from Afghanistan DOESN'T STOP HIM FROM KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES.

6) WATSON. KICKS ASS. LITERALLY. I should not have enjoyed that as much as I did BUT OH I DID.

7A) Dear Mary, Watson's fiancee--not very developed at all, however, was able to see the hint of your awesomeness regardless. STILL AMUSED YOU COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT YOU SHARE YOUR HUSBAND WITH HIS HOMOSEXUAL HETEROSEXUAL HOMOSEXUAL HIS LIFE MATE.

7B) Irene. I enjoyed your criminal competence.

8) LOL THE VILLAIN LOOKS MORE LIKE HOLMES THAN HOLMES DOES.

9) I SEE HOW YOU SET UP FOR A SEQUEL THAR, MOVIE.

10) H/W BANTER. EXCUSE ME. I NEED TO GO AND DIE A BIT FROM THE AWESOME SAUCE SILLY TIMES.

11) A FUCKING COMPETENT WATSON. THIS. \O/!!!

12) SHINY, SHINY (...or make that dirty) 1880'S LONDON. WELL DONE.

13) *DIES* OH GOD HOLMES STOP JUMPING INTO THE THAMES YOUR SKIN IS GOING TO FALL OFF FROM ALL THE DISEASES UGH.

14) LOL MAGIC! PSYCH!

15) TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN; IT'S NOT HOLMES, BUT I WANT SOME MORE. LOVE, NELLA.

16) ...So, that preview of the Clash of the Titans remake. WHO WANTS TO WATCH THE ORIGINAL WITH ME? I need some old school god-dickery and stop motion animation, STAT.

17) The soundtrack was to die for. DO WANT.


Now I need to go to bed. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
ink_n_imp: (ZIM! love)
Waiting in line last night for District 9, I was sandwiched between a group of guys—one of whom was wearing a yellow shirt that read Kirk Spock McCoy Sulu Chekov Uhura Scotty--and a guy and a girl who were playing Scrabble on their iphone. The guy used "Andorian" as a word. All I could think was "this needs a twittering."

My God. What would I have done had I been born before the Age of Fandom?

In regards to Distict 9...I wish I was intelligent enough to give it a review that would do it justice. I don’t even know if I’d want to review it, because I’d probably spoil it, and boy oh boy, for the first time…I really, REALLY don’t want to do that to ANYONE. But whatever that review would be, it would most definitely be sub-titled:

District 9: "Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most...Human"

Oh, fuck it, here’s what thoughts I wrote on the long subway ride from hell back to Queens this morning at 2:30 am. It’s long, rambling, and about as deep as I can get, which is probably quite shallow. Maybe minor spoilers? My movie reviewing rights should be revoked. You have been warned. )

Also last evening, the Hip Obscurity fundraiser was a great success! It was also an insane amount of fun! I had a great time MCing the Trivia portion—that is, I had great fun when I wasn’t battling wits with a shoddy microphone. It was frustrating to no end, though everyone told me afterwards as MC I handled the microphone SNAFU bullshit like a pro.

I suppose being a pro entails dancing around the room like a child on the verge of a temper tantrum hopped up on sugar while violently blaspheming against God, Jesus, his Mother and all the Saints. Whodathunk?


Holy God, am I really only running on 4 hours of sleep?

*DIES*
I need to hurry up and take a self-taught crash course in library science/archival preservation, because I MAY be working at the Northport Historical Society on organizing their archives, which are--and I quote the lady I spoke too regarding internships/volunteering/job possibilities--"a total MESS".

Thus begins Nella's do-or-die master plan to wean myself away from Retail, and get back on the equally shit-paying but at least I don't feel STOOPID doing it, academic/museum track.

That being said: F-list, I come to you for advice. I don't want to go back into the Ivory Tower of Academics. But I realize my interests really do--and honestly always HAVE--lie in museum work/public education etc etc. (Even though expect to keep hearing tales of shovelbumming as I continue to pursue archaeology)

I've been looking for museum jobs, and most listings seem to be for either archival/library science work (in organizing and preserving the museum's archive, collection, etc), or for education/general information pimping (i.e. organizing tours, collections, and outreach to schools, adults, students, anyone who might give a damn!). Which means this Nella would have to go to grad school for either library science, or for education, while she works on padding her resume and gaining XP for all those tricky jobs postings that ask for things like "2 years experience!" at places like the Northport Historical Society. Personally, I'd rather library science. I think I'm better at organizing things than organizing people.


I'm going to keep pondering this for now, but right now, I'm going to try and watch disc 2 of "New York: A Documentary Film" before I have to go to work. I need to see if PBS can top the first disc, which was about the rise and fall of New Amsterdam, how New York was uber tolerant only NOT, and how New York was passed over for becoming the capital of the US in favor of "a swamp that becomes malarial in April." (Yes, we ALL know your dirty secret, DC.)

Oh, the icon? Considering my feelings towards Target lately, it's wildly appropriate. I DON'T get paid enough for that shit...and if I work mornings at the Northport Historical Society, I probably won't get paid at all. But at least that job won't be shit.

I hope.
The problem with going long stretches of time without posting anything to Livejournal is that when you finally get "Hey, I haven't posted to LJ in a long time, I should get on that!" into your head, you can think of absolutely NOTHING of worth to post about.

This is where I add the disclaimer that I went into the theater SERIOUSLY wanting to love this movie. I wanted to walk out the same raving fangirl that walked out of the first one.

Alas.

Saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3, and finally figured out what's been bothering me about the lot of them ever since the second movie came out. I still ADORE the first one. Loved a lot of bits in the second movie, but still haven't had the desire to purchase it (unlike when the 1st one came out on DVD…I needed that movie like a zombie needs brains, and purchased it very close to the day it came out). There were even bits of this 3rd one that struck my fancy. But over all, the POTC movies have lost the sparkle in my eye.

The problem I find is that the Powers That Be went and make the pirate world Too Damn Big.

Now, this is probably making some of you scratch your heads, but I shall try to explain.

Pirates are big characters with big personalities; s'what I love about Pirates. Captain Hook, Long John Silver, Henry Morgan, Mary Reade and Anne Bonny (you know, those two ladies of "If you'd have fought like a man you wouldn't be getting hanged like a dog" fame), and the newly minted Jack Sparrow…excuse me, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow; fictional or real, Pirates swashbuckle. Swagger. Yell big things like "AHOY!" and, "AVAST, ME HEARTIES!". They drink large, irresponsible quantities of Rum and other spirits (though mainly rum) and they WENCH, thereby blowing ALL of their money very quickly. They would rather run or fight than get caught and be hanged. Ninjas, alas, never yell, drink (to MY knowledge, though they would probably hold their alcohol very well), OR wench. That is why in the Nella Book o' Awesomeness, Ninjas LOSE, and Pirates WIN. End of story.

(...Although, remind me to recount how my good, but woefully misguided friend and adorer of all things ninja, [livejournal.com profile] neo_ninja, and I have finally reached a sort of accord when it comes to ninjas and pirates co-inhabiting)

However--this third POTC movie just is lacking the heart of the first POTC. The first POTC was comparably small in scale, if you think about it. A small number of main characters, in a small world (the Caribbean). In my mind, it was well balanced. Then the second movie expanded the horizons, added more characters, more locations. Ok. I still could dig it. But the third movie?

Captain Jack, Barbossa, the rest of the piratey types we've been rooting for--they got lost in the Epic Shuffle that was POTC 3. And pirates shouldn't get lost in ANY shuffle, so to speak. Or sure, they can sashay unnoticed through bar scuffles like Jack does BRILLIANTLY in the second movie. But pirates shouldn't be getting upstaged by horrible epic speeches about--

*pulls out Mel Gibson/Braveheart impression*

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!

Because that's what they tried to make POTC 3--an EPIC, "Band of Brothers We!", "They-can-take-our-lives-but-they'll-never-take-our-Freedom!" sort of movie, lead by Elizabeth Swann (which is ANOTHER rant entirely).

'Twas Epic. 'Twas Do-Or-Die.

But that's not…piratey. And it was just too much, my friends. I was actually BORED by the final movie battle.

BORED.

ME.

BY A SEA BATTLE.

I don't get BORED during sea battles! HELL, it could be two guys splashing each other in a bath tub, and I'd be *mind wanders to a smutty place*…wait a minute, that's a bad example. Strike that.

It could be two guys in separate dinghies throwing water balloons at each other with some dramatic camera angles, and I'd dig it. The point is, I yawned at the ZOMG FINAL BATTLE between the Rebels (the Pirates) and The Evil Empire (East India Co). The glorious last stands of pirates should be like the infamous duel of Blackbeard and Lieutenant Maynard, not like the destruction of the second Death Star.

But aside from the FEELING being off, the emphasis on Elizabeth just made my teeth grit. But that's a rant I don't feel like contemplating right now, thank you very much. The short of the long is, I tried to like her, I really did!! But, Gah! But she's been tripping my very-biased-and-finely-honed-in-the-fires-of-fan-fiction Sue-odometer, and in this last movie, she made it go HAYWIRE.

Yes, there were things I loved in this 3rd installment, like the mythology that was created for this piratey, sea-faring world. In fact, sea-mythology FTW. Hell, even the ending for Liz and Will? You know what, that I rather liked. Romantic, bittersweet, AND it kicks the both of them FIRMLY out of the picture (if the ending at the end of the credits suggests ANYTHING, it's that).

But, much like Spiderman 3, I find myself unable to revel in the bits I loved without pulling up terrible, PTSD-like flashbacks to the bits that tore at my SOUL and made me GROWL at the screen.

I hear there's talk of POTC 4, but…the Golden Age of Piracy is dead and gone now.

Oh, and ending note.

*pulls out the best Captain Jack Sparrow impression she's got*

*Looks towards Norrington*

STILL rooting for you, mate.
Well, that was a long and arduous battle against my computer, but for once, 'Nella rides forth victorious!

I've been gnashing my teeth against my computer, trying to get this damned screen shot (hint: it was windows media classics that came in at the 11th hour and saved the day. *heaps the program with laurels!*) You see, I watched "The Madness of King George" today, an absolutely smashing movie that I highly recommend. I've always wanted to give King George the III a hug, he always seemed like a decent enough chap, and this movie only makes me want to hug kings more. I enjoyed it immensely, and recommend it to all.

HOWEVER….

Not 13 minutes in and I both had already fallen in loved with the movie, and was writhing in pain on the floor to my roommate's great amusement because of it.

Now, there's a WHOLE lot of historical inaccuracy I can overlook for the sake of plot, or for staging ease, or just because the director says "fuck all, it'll look cooler this way"*. I myself like it when things look cooler. The point is I can take historical inaccuracy with a grain of salt, because it's a MOVIE. It's FICTION (even when they are "Based on true events"). The point is to tell a story and that's THAT.

But nothing makes my jaw drop faster, my eyes roll backwards and foam start to come from my mouth than historical inaccuracy due to SHEER LAZINESS. And I know this is a very, very, petty and silly thing, but for ME to notice it within the 1.2 seconds it shows up on the screen makes it a GLARING act of LAZINESS, so glaring that I must take issue.

I ask you my friends. For a movie taking place in 1789, what is wrong with this globe that King George is pointing too?

I'll give you a hint. Jefferson wasn't President yet. And John Quincy Adams wasn't busting Spanish balls for land yet. Oh, and Daniel Webster wasn't busting Canadian balls for land yet as well. Oh hell, just click on the pic and I'll give you a brief history of American ball-busting for land pre-1850. )
*sigh*

I know this 'twas a silly rant, but COME ON. This movie takes place RIGHT AFTER the American Revolution had been won (…make that lost, as this is a movie about King George). You don't go out of your way to draw attention to King George's anger and disappointment over losing the colonies and then bullshit with a globe representing a 1850-ish American geography!!! Shame on you, movie, shame on you and this lack of attention to detail!!!

FOR SHAME

And the Footnotes of my short rant…er…treatise… )
So, the "Intro to Chemistry" lab should be renamed "Idiot's Guide to Chemistry", which is really just to say it is right at my level of scientific know-how; although my lab partner was KILLING me with her spastic way of skipping over practically EVERYTHING we had to do in lab, and how she was positively deer-in-the-headlights over the idea that notes might just be important!! Ok, so maybe the note taking thing is just the archaeology talking, but DAMNIT woman would you PLEASE take a measurement of the table salt BEFORE you dump it in the water! I know the lab today was silly, but humor me and PRETEND like it's a good thing to be precise in your note taking and measurements!!

*SIGH*

In other news, I am in love with my "Faunal Remains Analysis" class. I took great pleasure in my professor's attempt to explain WHY it's important to be able to distinguish between animal and human remains, with the punch line being the image of her shifting through the faunal remains from a dig in the middle east, pulling out a human mandible and exclaiming, in a way reminiscent of Invader Zim; "That's not a GOAT!!"

"Emerging Diseases"; a class both highly enjoyable and rather terrifying. To all my New Yorkers! Just think! Our winters rise in temperature just two more degrees and we'll have not only mosquitoes year round, but fun, tropical diseases like malaria and dengue fever to share and share a like!

And talking about emerging diseases, I HIGHLY recommend the movie Ever Since the World Ended; a fake documentary which takes place 12 years after the world population is decimated by a plague, and is about the 168 survivors living in the San Francisco Bay Area. There were a few moments that jarred me out of the reality the movie creates, but over all it felt chilling real, and wasn't a preachy "stop fucking up the world" but a "What would you do?".

Well, those are my two cents, take them as they are.
It's a very, very, very rare occasion when my mother finds a movie that she actually wants to see in the theater. So, imagine my surprise when she told me to look up the times for "The Brother's Grimm". And imagine my double surprise when my whole family actaully came for a ride. The stars must of aligned or something, but we all went to see it.


The sum of all this, I shall say upfront, is that we had a good time. We all had a good laugh and gawked at some amazing visual effects, but now that we've returned and come off the "gee, that wasn't so bad, it was entertaining" high, I thought I'd put in my two cents about Gilliam's latest film.

Not as bad as you would think, but leaves much to be desired )

Well, that's all I can think of at this point. Over all--see it! Catch a matinee, go with a friend, have a good laugh and a good groan at the Brothers Grimm's expense. But it's a movie that is not really a repeat, and a buyer if MAYBE you get it for 5 bucks from Best Buy.
Or, I'm geeking out over here!


Back when there was a movie theater in the Smithhaven Mall, and when the price of a matinee ticket was still less than $5 (In Fact, I think I only paid $4.25), and, if my memory is not complete shit, this would have been around '97. More or less. It must have been for I was still a measly middle schooler...

BUT back WHEN all of these were true, I saw "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back" for the first time in Smithhaven mall theater. I had seen bits of "A New Hope" on TV. I had devoured the single bound, 3 book novelization in a single week at Disney World. I had ridden on the Star Wars ride at Disney's MGM park more times than I could recall. And on that day, I got my first taste of Star Wars.

I admit I was hooked. I watched Return of the Jedi on TV and tried to get my hands on as many Star Wars novels as I could. I drooled over the Star Wars Visual Dictionaries. I read pithy, rather confusing books chronicling the adventures of Luke, Leia and Han after RotJ. I even read the "Young Jedi Knights" series.


Hence why "Revenge of the Sith" was so FUCKING frustrating.

Now, most movies would KILL for a plot like the one in Episode 3. Even though I (and every other mother's son) knew how it had to end, I was dying to see how it would go down. I'm all for elaborate fight scenes. I heart them. Two crazy jedi's duking it out over molten lava? BOO YEA! So in that regard, I was deliriously pleased.

BUT...I was also FRUSTRATED out of my MIND, and from the moment the word "WAR!" appeared at the beginning of the movie. (Which got a LOT of half-groans, half snickers from our geek audience).

The problem my friends, was that the dialogue was so forced.

Pun.

Ok, now that I've gotten the word play out of my system, I'm serious. Hayden and the gang must have crawled into their trailers with each rewrite they got so that they could drown their woes. With such winners as "Your breaking my HEART Ani!" and "Hold me like you did on the lakes of" etc etc, CAMPY was not the problem. CAMPY was Obi-Wan, and I heart my Obi-Wan, and someone needed to be Han-ish. No, my friends, the PROBLEM is that, in the words of my esteemed former roommate [livejournal.com profile] singealiene, whoever wrote the dialogue must have been exiled from all human contact for the last 30 years. Only feasible explain for how SOMEONE could think that that CRAP was a good idea.

Oh, and only last thing...LOST the fucking WILL to LIVE? What pregnant woman DOES THAT? How the FUCK did Padme become so FUCKING PASSIVE? And how is that the kick-your-ass-and-fly-a-ship-and-smuggle-enemy-plans-and-shoot-your-sorry-ass-while-I'm-at-it-bitch Leia came from the womb of such a SIMPERING GIRL?!? Who's with me on this, that Padme couldn't have gotten ANY MORE BORING?


*SIGH*

But my friends, good has come from this frustrating darkness. This weekend, [livejournal.com profile] singealiene, [livejournal.com profile] muneybags6 and I gathered around the DVD player and watched Episodes 4-6.

And they were GLORIOUS.

Thank you Episode 3. Because you frustrated me SOOOOO much, I have rediscovered the magic and the sheer JOY of the original movies. The characters, the dialogue, the plot, the mythology...even though you pained me, Episode 3, you some how STILL managed to make these 3 RICHER. Darth Vader became THAT much more bad ass. Luke and Leia became THAT much more deeper. Obi-Wan's twinkle in his eye meant something WONDROUS! And Han became a welcome, long, refreshing, campy and sexy drink of cold water after crawling through the desert.

Episodes 1-3, dare I say it, were not for naught.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I still have some Star Wars novels upstairs in my room.
Watch Hotel Rwanda and Schindler's List in the same day.


Note 1: Hotel Rwanda makes me wish for a real Team America World Police. I mean, UN peeps: when you go into a country as "peace keepers" and know that you can't actuslly shot people, doesn't it make you think "gee, if shit goes down we can't shoot people!", and then, don't you think "gee WHIZ! I wonder if those people waving guns and manchetes know that we can't shot them"

And then, the people rioting and waving guns and machetes think "Wait, they can't shot us--why are we only waving our guns and machetes?"

USELESS! USELESS UN!!!!

Note 2: Aside from the nature of the movie, Schindler's List is really rather....funny. In a wickedly evil way. Wickedly. Wickedly. Wickedly. It doesn't feel right for it to have so many funny bits. I mean, the scene where the hinge maker is taken out back to be shot, but all the guns malfunction, and the guy is just KNEELING there, flinching at each pull?

Evil.

Yes, but I'm definately going to be contemplating life for a completely of days now.
I have an Italian oral exam tomorrow. And I am fucked. Again. I'm RIGHT at that point of studying where I MIGHT know it, and I MIGHT not fuck up on the test. IF somehow all this information in my head manages to stay in one place and not leave on holiday just when I need it.

Oye.

On that note, I saw Constantine. And I really liked it. Similiar to the comic only in names. There just HAPPENS to be an chainsmoking excorsit in LA with the same name as some chain smoking blonde punk wannabe mage dude in england, and that's who the movie's about. And...dare I say it...I LIKE KEANU REEVES IN THIS MOVIE.

THERE I SAID IT!

I donno, he does the demon hunting, cancer dying, taking-on-demons-and-trying-to-get-into-heaven-is-all-in-a-day's-work shtick BEAUTIFULLY. You know when he says a line with such intensity it HURTS? (for example, the trailer to "a scanner darkly" his new movie...when he says "The two halves of my brian are FIGHTING?" you shudder as only a keanu delivered line can make you shudder) Well, guess what...those moments are NEARLY NON EXISTANT in this movie!!!!

AND he's set back the anti tobacco movement by 30 years, he makes smoking look THAT bad ass again.

AND he's reintroduced the black pants/tie/jacket white shirt combo as a sex symbol. Personally...i think it was all the tie.

Damn that tie.

And on that note, the fangirls are going to be ALL over this movie, cause you can slash him with every single male/androygenous character. The girl in the movie didn't have a chance. There's already a section at ff.n for the movie.

On that note...time to go back to being fucked.

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