Iowan judge decides if he has to marry gay couples, then by George, he won't marry ANYONE!

I am honestly...MEH about this. Allow me to explain. I am both angry in the eyeroll sense over the sheer pettiness of it. It's a fucking CIVIL marriage, recognized by the state, not the church. You know, the thing that only cares about services and taxation? And not, you know, if it’s holy before the sight of God?

GET. THE FUCK. OVER IT.

On the other hand...it sort of makes me rebelliously gleeful, in my usual devil’s advocate-y sort of way. "HUZZAH!" says the wicked bit of my soul that is positively allergic to idea of martial commitment*, "What a GREAT IDEA! Let’s make it so NO BODY allowed to get married anymore! Let’s all get equal in the OTHER direction! Who's with me!?”

I donno. This feels like such a wearying case of Your-Doing-It-Wrong-itis. The dude should have just cut his losses and retired. Give unto Caeser, man. Feel free shake your head and sigh regretfully at me and the rest of us damned fools doomed to burn forever in the fires of Hell (….or, roast for near-eternity in Purgatory…just saying. If Oscar Wilde can have a death bed confession/conversion, then hey, there’s still hope) but even Lot turned his back on Sodom and Gomorrah.

(…and then was raped by his two daughters while totally passed out in a drunken stupor.)

(…..Dude, the guy was wasted, how’d he get it UP??)



*I’m really just one of nature’s bachelors. This is becoming more and more startling apparent the older I’m getting.



YE OLDE EDIT:

FORSOOTHE! It appears that this day be Talk Like Shakespeare Day. You Know What That Means!!:

Judge! Thou art a little better thing than earth,
who does not his duty, but only judges
the lesser mortals who to you have come
not for God's Justice, but for what is just.
Sirrah! Of you I shake the dust from my soles,
and save the wedding wine of Cana for another day--
methinks it tastes best shared with lovers and friends,
than with scurrilous scolds and uncharitable nags.


...The Bard, I am Not.
Once again, PETA has missed the point.

Usually, the antics of PETA barely make a blip on the Nella Radar of worldly-going-ons. But as my brother has recently become a vegetarian, I've been getting snarky in regards to the bean and leafy greens set.

I am one of nature's omnivores in the broadest of senses--I'll eat ANYTHING, be it shit junk food or uber healthy vegan feed, because holy cow, I just love to eat. Meat? Boom baby! Tofu? Hell Yes. Vegetables? Load them on the plate. Fruits, nuts, and grains? Why hello there, delicious! Various fats and sugars that no man should put in their body? I'll regret it in the morning, and probably while I'm putting it in my mouth, but it's, er...part of the adventure?

Ok, so I've been trying to nix that last part out of my life--unsuccessfully--but the point is I would have been the crazy ass hunter gatherer who would have been looking at unidentified plant #637 and been thinking "Well, I saw a bird eat it once, and it didn't fall out of the sky right away."

But to the point. My brother has given up meat. And if he wasn't being so high and mighty obnoxious about it, I'd probably be happy for him. But as is my brother's want, he's gone and taking a perfectly reasonable lifestyle and make me want to bash him over the head with a frozen leg of lamb a la that Roald Dahl short story "Innocence of the Lamb" for it (GO READ IT NOW!! ONE DAY I WILL WRITE A STAGE ADAPTATION OF IT, AND IT WILL BE BETTER THAN HITCHCOCK'S!!!).

First off, he insists on repeating, over and over again, to us his family members that have to sit through this EVERY MEAL, that he finds meat "repulsive" and that he can't understand how anyone could stomach eating something that was "alive". And then he proceeds to complain about how he's tired of "Beans" and that my mother doesn't cook anything for him.

Ok, the repulsive I'll give him. I've move a rotten pig caress out of a blown up car in the dead heat of summer, meat IS repulsive, especially once the flies come. I get it. It turns your stomach. To each man his own, and mine is meaty, preferably fresh and grilled. However, since we've changed OUR diets to accommodate you--since you don't, you know, COOK FOR YOURSELF--how about you stop hating on the cooks, eh? We hear you every night. It gets old. Fast.

if you don't like mom's absolutely fabulous zucchini soup, how about YOU bust open a cook book and try to make something yourself? Christ, she's the one trying to at least make sure you're getting a balanced vegetarian diet, but you're the dumb ass who insists you don't need protein every day, and who still refuses to eat most of the vegetables she prepares. This woman has be jumping hoops for you since they brought you home, and as an 18 year old, you don't like what's cooking, MAN UP. Remember that story mom liked to tell, about how as a kid she hated lentil soup and refused to eat it, and grandma took her plate, dumped it over her head and sent her to bed without dinner? WHY we never did that to you while you were a child is beyond me. Who knows, as your older sister I may have to pick up the slack, do the world a favor and dump soup on your picky little head.

And in regards refusing to eat things that were "alive"--I've never seen my brother get more defensive and angry when I started pointing out (more like bullshitted, cause I don't think when I speak I just open my mouth and words come out) that that broccoli was once alive, growing to its full potential when it was cruelly plucked for our consumption, and that lemon, my GOD that LEMON had the potential to become a lemon TREE, but we denied it it's proper fate by using it to flavor our food, and that TOMATO, that tomato was the pride and joy of some--

At this point my brother punched me in the arm. And yes, I know comparing the harvesting of animals and plants is like comparing apples and oranges (OH WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE ORANGES!) but that's the problem with my brother. Every crusade he joins, every decision he makes he then uses to try and prove how better he is than my parents and myself. Like the time he decided all organized religion was inherently evil (we're catholic), or the time he was an anarchist (By God did I have fun ripping that apart!) I can respect honest belief and convictions. I can't abide holy-than-thou idiocy for the sake of holier-than-thou idiocy. And by God, if I wasn't put on this earth to knock my brother's ego down a few pegs, then there's just nothing left for me on this sweet green earth. At this point I'd post some pithy and appropriate Chesterton quote about vegetarians, but I'm at my public library, and all I can remember is a verse from one of his poems:

"You will find me drinking rum,
like a sailor in a slum,
you will find me drinking beer like a Baravian.
You will find me drinking gin
in the lowest sort of inn,
because I am at heart a vegetarian."

And to his wondering about how ANYONE could POSSIBLY eat meat--
Step One: Take the Meat. Step Two: place the meat in your mouth. Step Three: Chew completely. Step Four: Swallow. Step Five: Repeat.

Oddily enough, they are the same steps used in eating, well, anything! Fancy that.
Well, that was a long and arduous battle against my computer, but for once, 'Nella rides forth victorious!

I've been gnashing my teeth against my computer, trying to get this damned screen shot (hint: it was windows media classics that came in at the 11th hour and saved the day. *heaps the program with laurels!*) You see, I watched "The Madness of King George" today, an absolutely smashing movie that I highly recommend. I've always wanted to give King George the III a hug, he always seemed like a decent enough chap, and this movie only makes me want to hug kings more. I enjoyed it immensely, and recommend it to all.

HOWEVER….

Not 13 minutes in and I both had already fallen in loved with the movie, and was writhing in pain on the floor to my roommate's great amusement because of it.

Now, there's a WHOLE lot of historical inaccuracy I can overlook for the sake of plot, or for staging ease, or just because the director says "fuck all, it'll look cooler this way"*. I myself like it when things look cooler. The point is I can take historical inaccuracy with a grain of salt, because it's a MOVIE. It's FICTION (even when they are "Based on true events"). The point is to tell a story and that's THAT.

But nothing makes my jaw drop faster, my eyes roll backwards and foam start to come from my mouth than historical inaccuracy due to SHEER LAZINESS. And I know this is a very, very, petty and silly thing, but for ME to notice it within the 1.2 seconds it shows up on the screen makes it a GLARING act of LAZINESS, so glaring that I must take issue.

I ask you my friends. For a movie taking place in 1789, what is wrong with this globe that King George is pointing too?

I'll give you a hint. Jefferson wasn't President yet. And John Quincy Adams wasn't busting Spanish balls for land yet. Oh, and Daniel Webster wasn't busting Canadian balls for land yet as well. Oh hell, just click on the pic and I'll give you a brief history of American ball-busting for land pre-1850. )
*sigh*

I know this 'twas a silly rant, but COME ON. This movie takes place RIGHT AFTER the American Revolution had been won (…make that lost, as this is a movie about King George). You don't go out of your way to draw attention to King George's anger and disappointment over losing the colonies and then bullshit with a globe representing a 1850-ish American geography!!! Shame on you, movie, shame on you and this lack of attention to detail!!!

FOR SHAME

And the Footnotes of my short rant…er…treatise… )
No Professor Ewell, I think you're too cool of a person to fall for the old "and these female figurines are fertility goddesses" tripe!!! Just say NO to the term Venus!!! Don't do it!! They are so much more than just sympathetic magic!! Why the fuck would a hunter gather society want more children!! Children are useless in a society like that, less is more!! Fertility my foot, nevermind that fertility goddesses are depicted as pre mense, mense, AND post-mense, any gyno can look at one and tell you that! NOT FERTILITY!!


*sigh* This is what happens when you've spend a semester studying this shit.

And the caves in Europe as painted TOMBS? TOMBS?!?! OMGWTF there are NO REMAINS expect for the one cave where they all died of CO2 poisoning while in the cave cause caves are hella dangerous like that.


....other than that, the Etruscans class is going well, me gusta.
...The in-post production Kronk’s New Groove continues the adventures of the breakout character from 2000’s unashamedly cartoony Emperor’s New Groove. (At the time, one critic called Patrick Warbuton’s voice work as the kind-hearted but dim-witted henchman “the funniest comedy performance of the year.”) The DTV is being directed by DisneyToon team Saul Andrew Blinkoff and Elliot M. Bour. According to Bour, “The original didn’t do incredibly well in theaters but it turns out to be one of those fan favorites that everyone you talk to seems to love. We decided to explore his character even more by giving him a love interest [voiced by Tracy Ullman] and a relationship with his estranged father [Frasier’s John Mahoney].”

Blinkoff adds, “We wanted to make it a heartfelt movie that you could walk away with laughing, but having a good theme — stay true to your groove — which is actually a song in the movie."...

...Other ideas in development at DisneyToon Studios include a non-TV pilot Cinderella III (built around the stepmother using the fairy godmother’s magic wand to turn back time)...

...a Peter Pan inbetween-quel exploring Tinkerbell’s adventures in ‘Pixie Hollow’ with an assortment of fairy girlfriends...


From Animation World Magazine

Ok, ok. First things first: Kronk is my love bunny. Any character that calls his shoulder angel "Shoulder Angel" is just cuddles worthy in my book. But love interest? Estranged father? What, was he's father upset that his son was a girly junior chipmunk or something? That he was too busy conversing with woodland creatures and not spending enough time on the farm? Was he angry that Kronk went off to the big palacey type thing to find his fortunes working for Yzma? And let me guess, no girl can resist his spinach puffs. But this IS Kronk we're talking about--even the tried and hankneyed might become WONDEROUS in relation to Kronk.

But!!!!

WHY. THE. FUCK. Is Lady Tremaine of Cinderella fame now SOOOOO EVIL that she would steal the fairy godmother's wand and use it to...yes, you read it...TURN BACK TIME. Is it SO difficult to hire a new servant since Cinderella left, that she has to GO BACK IN FREAKING TIME to...I donno even KNOW what--stop Cindy from going to the ball? Get one of her girls to be the "Cinderella" of the family instead? Get the Prince herself? Make sure Cinderella did all the laundry and dusting BEFORE she went to the ball and became the Prince's main squeeze, so Lady Tremaine wouldn't have to do it later?

WTF?!?

And the last thing we need in this world is more Tinkerbelle. In my mind, it's a DAMN good thing that Peter in Barrie's book completely forgot about her once she "disappears" (though, I'm quite sure he capped the whiney bitch and feigned memory loss) cause we need to take a page out of Peter's book. Let's all forget that Tinkerbelle EVER HAPPENED. I don't care if she is the 1960's version of a raging sexpot. I don't care if Hot Topic is selling all sorts of Tinkerbelle shit. Hot Topic isn't cool to begin with. No, my friends, Tinkerbelle needs to die, her and every single one of her "fairy girlfriends". Girls! STOP BUYING TINKERBELLE SHIT!!! I'M FUCKING SICK TO DEATH OF TINKERBELLE!!!*

If I could, I would stick Tinkerbelle on a fork, eat her, and then floss my teeth with her glossy wings.

*Simmering ANGER*

*Foam at mouth beginning to recede*




*If this was [livejournal.com profile] singealiene posting, there would have been a description of a Hades flame explosion right THERE.



EDIT: Oh, and be sure to scroll all the way down to the bottom of the fourth page to the "A Look at a Few DTV Sequels" text box. The poor bastard who wrote this article tried to justify a few of the sequels, like Hunchback II, Lady and the Tramp II, and the last storyline of Cinderella II. *GLARE*

LION KING 1 1/2 WAS NOT FUNNY!! IT WAS ALL RECYCLED ANIMATION AND FURTHER PROOF THAT TIMON AND PUMBAA ARE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACHOTHER!!

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