ink_n_imp | ITUNES MEME, this time for a Movie Soundtrack

How to use your music library as a parody of bad movies.
Stolen from

innocentsmith and slightly altered so it's not a soundtrack to a movie of my LIFE, but instead a sound track of a movie I created around the songs that popped up.

...I spent WAAAAAAAAAAAY to much time typing this out. Take with HUGE ASS grain of salt.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Palyer, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every horrible movie cliche, type the song that's playing with the given category
5. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

And then here's the tough part:

6. Try to make them tell a coherent movie story line.

The Theater lights go down. And as soon as the first chord is hit, you know this movie is NOT going to end well.

Opening Credits:
"Tender to the Blues" by James Yorkston and the Athletes

'Oh no,' you think. This movie is going to be fucking depressing. But the song's good, so you stick around. And what you thought was a series of random shots of objects and streets and people getting their day started comes to rest on one solitary house, wherein we meant our protagonist of this tale.

Waking Up:
"Man of Constant Sorrow [Instrumental] from O Brother Where Art Thou?

Now the camera's focused on a alarm clock that just won't shut up. The totally clichéd hand reaches out to smack it into submission, but from either soul-weariness or just plain weariness, it takes a few half hearted tries. Girl gets out of bed. Goes through morning routine. But today's a little different, for today it's her…

First Day at School:
"Keep Your Hands Off Her (Junior Kimbrough cover)" by The Black Keys

New girl in a new town means a new school, and with the first chord we find her facing this new black level of hell she's been condemned too. Completely ignored, completely out of her element, things look bleak, until the movie takes a crazed 360-turn in tone and suddenly…

There's a love interest.

Falling In Love:
"All I Care About is Love" from Chicago

Oh yea. This fellow is the big man on campus, the ultimate smooth talking, panty peeling, all around. And all of a sudden, our protagonist's life takes a sharp turn into the realm of musical comedy.

Witnessing the blatant hero worship the females of the High School bestow upon the Love Interest, and how he SHAMELESSLY basks in it with charm and a smirk, our heroine is disgusted, appalled…and unfortunately, as the song goes on and the heroine sees more and more of him around campus, a little turned on.

Fight Song:
"Married" From Cabaret

Well, not so much a fight, but a confrontation between our protagonist and our love interest? A coming to terms? A suddenly seeing each other for the first time? A totally unforeseen and vaguely nonsensical declaration of mutual attraction and subsequent snog fest? It turns out his not so much of a shameless womanizer, and she's pretty fucking cool herself. And of course it feels RUSHED! This is a movie with a time limit, and the writers have written it off as "TRU LUV".

Prom:
"The Black Gates Open" From The Return of the King

~~Er….shit shit how could this possibly fit…er…~~

Prom…looms? Everything was smiles and roses before, but we the audience are beginning to see the cracks--our couple just don't seem so compatible anymore. Oh, sure they give a unified front, but his eyes linger a little too long on the cheerleaders and she's just a little too independent herself. The spark is still there, but can it hold them together?! CAN THERE BE HOPE?!?!

The night of the prom, and survey says…

No. The love light has faded from their eyes.

Breaking Up:
"Ein Freund, Ein Guter Freund" by The Comedian Harmonists

However they decide to end on good terms. They just rushed too quickly into dating, but they can still be friends, in fact, they are the bestest best of friends, and the rest of their high school years are spent happily. They date other people, and are always quick to slap each other on the back.

Life:
Quidam from Cirque Du Soleil

…even though they cry themselves to sleep. Every night. Oh why does it hurt so much!?! And even though they are still friends, they drift apart as college, and life, happens. They lose touch.

Mental Breakdown:
"Prisoners of Love (Leo and Max)" from The Producers

Years have passed by…our heroine's life is everything she could ever hope for. But something isn't right. She can't help the nagging suspicion that she's trapped in some mad cap musical without her leading man. And it's driving her crazy.

Driving:
"Pressure" by Billy Joel

For another unexplained reason (pfft, this movie doesn't have time for EXPLAINING why these things happens!) the real world, it's just too much, and feels to empty to her. She takes a weekend off to get away from it all, and ends up driving back home, to the old stomping grounds of her high school days.

Flashback:
"You're Drivin' Me Crazy" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers

Why, hello Mr. Plot-Convenience! Who is that walking around the lonely streets of the old town? Why, it's old Mr. Love-Interest, and what's this, he's not looking to well himself! Shocked pleasantries are exchanged on the street that move into a nearby bar, that after a few drinks, moves to the old diner for a nostalgic milkshake. The past few years are recounted in this montage, and old times are caught up on. And the old flame of friendship is relight. What's that you say? Really? You're working in the city as well? Gosh, I live there too! Really? I love going there! Say, there's a new whatsit opening, we should go! Yea, next weekend! Fine, you're on!

Getting Back Together
"When Loves Arrives" from the ghetto-ass sound recording of a production of By Jeeves

And in this montage, our couple finds themselves back firmly in the grasp of the machinations of the musical comedy, as they fall back in love over a montage of humorous adventures shared in and around the city. Love Interest, prepared to be
Woo-ed by the adorkable charm of our heroine. Remember, the reason why you fell in love with her back in high school.

FINALLY, what our audience has been waiting for the whole damn movie. He proposes, and they marry.

Wedding:
Track 10 from Amelie

Which is a montage set to this song.

Birth of Child:
Heal Over by KT Tunstall

How bittersweet. And as the audience yawns, how BORING. I thought this movie (based on the song used in the opening credits) was going to end sadly. This can't be the ending. There's a child and it's all hopeful and shit.

Final Battle:
"Auf Achse" by Franz Ferdinand

MWHAHA! You TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU!! THIS was the super surprise twist ending that is going to make the director INFAMOUS. THIS WASN'T A LOVE STORY! THIS WASN'T A MUSICAL COMEDY! IT WAS A FUCKING TALE ABOUT THE EVILS OF WAR/TERRORISM!

A hem.

We see our heroine's husband getting home. There are messages on the machine. There was a bomb in the subway. His wife was identified and is at such and such hospital.

Hubby drives madly to the hospital, and the doctor's say she's probably not going to make it. But the old girl's got enough in her (…enough morphine, that is) to babble on and on in her

Death Scene:
"Schroeder (Moonlight Sonata)" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

…Just DIE already, bitch. This movie is long enough.

Funeral Song:
La Traviata, opera: "Ah fors'e lui...Sempre libera"

As they put her coffin in the ground to this song, the audience realizes the only reason the heroine had a child was so that it could gratuitously pull at the heart strings when she died. But damn me if the kid isn't heart breakingly adorable in black. Daddy's putting on a brave face. Needs to be strong for the kid. Morale of the story: well, at least they had a few good years together.

End Credits:
"Like a Rollin' Stone" by Bob Dylan

THE END.