She Likes Coffee and I Like Tea

Saw Sherlock Holmes Christmas Eve at midnight—you know you're far too invested in a series when you skip Midnight Mass for it.

I do consider myself a Sherlockian. Four years ago the amount of detail I could quote to you about each of the tales, of the "world" of Victorian England, and of the characters' respective backgrounds would probably make you smile, nod, and back away slowly. I could argue how many wives Watson had (I throw down for 3), where his bullet wound was (I say he was kneeling down, and the bullet passed throw his shoulder, hitting him in the leg. THERE. PROBLEM OF CONTINUITY SOLVED.) I am a bit rusty now, but I can still hold my own in "The Game".

However, I've ALWAYS been one for the crackier aspects of Sherlock Holmes canon; like, Rex Stout's 1941 speech upon how Watson, was in fact, a woman, or how Sherlock Holmes was in actuality, a Vulcan ancestor of Mr. Spock, or just the simple notion that Watson DOESN'T HAVE TO BE CONSIDERED A RELIABLE NARRATOR.

SHOCKING, I know.

If you are a tried-and-true purist for the Canon, go back to your sitting room, curl up with your pipe and tantalus and pretend like this movie doesn't exist, because you will HATE IT. You will hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand fistfights at Reichenbach Falls.

If, however, you are like me—who love a good, energetic retelling by people who OBVIOUSLY know their canon well and yet want to gleefully play with it, muss up it's perfectly parted and slicked down hair and blow some shit up in the process--

Well, then, what's stopping you?

I think my years of being corrupted by fandom, there's a lot I've learned to forgive by way of characterization, as long as you make me fall in love with the characters and the setting. People claim RDJ's Holmes is NOT Holmes. But the more I think upon it, the more I think "Wait, wait; he is—in a fashion".

( Thoughts on RDJ's Holmes… )

The movie isn't perfect by any means—far too long, for one; it could have been compressed a bit. But the creation of Victorian London was to die for. I enjoyed the Macguffin, even though the villain was…well, I giggled more than I should have, probably. I think it was because he LOOKED more like a Sherlock Holmes than RDJ ever could.

I approve of the inclusions of Mary and Irene, though I feel that Mary, for all the smallness of her role, complimented the other roles better. Irene had a tinge of a feeling that she didn't quite belong, and perhaps rightly so. I did enjoy her criminal competency, however.

Words can not contain my love for Jude Law in his role as Watson. Spot On, Sir.

You know, people have the gall to claim that the problem with Watson in this movie was that he was too much of an equal to Holmes? Again, I think we've gotten snooty in how we view the characters. Watson was an intelligent, handsome doctor, who only looked dull-minded because he was standing next to Holmes. But in the stories, Holmes does acknowledge at times that Watson is using his intellect and Holmes' methods to good use. Watson may not be able to go theory-for-theory with Holmes--for who can truly keep up with that mind?--but he can hold his own, offer his own insights and experiences, and be side-by-side with Holmes as the solution is reached. Watson is not an equal to Holmes, but a perfect compliment. WHICH HE IS IN THIS MOVIE.

In Conclusion: Please sir, I'd like some more.

1) IS ACTUALLY QUITE ENJOYABLE--if you can pretend that is this a story about a chap that just HAPPENS to have the same name as Sherlock Holmes, possesses some of his characteristics, but is other wise AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON REALLY.

You know, sort of like in that Constantine movie.

2) I THOUGHT HOLMES AND WATSON COULDN'T BE ANY GAYER FOR EACH OTHER. I stand corrected.

3) SOMEONE READ REX STOUT'S "WATSON WAS A WOMAN" SPEECH AND THOUGHT IT WAS A JOLLY GOOD THEORY.

4) JUDE LAW!WATSON. YOU. MY PANTS. NOW.

5) On that note--so good to see that Watson's limp from his bullet wound from Afghanistan DOESN'T STOP HIM FROM KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES.

6) WATSON. KICKS ASS. LITERALLY. I should not have enjoyed that as much as I did BUT OH I DID.

7A) Dear Mary, Watson's fiancee--not very developed at all, however, was able to see the hint of your awesomeness regardless. STILL AMUSED YOU COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT YOU SHARE YOUR HUSBAND WITH HIS HOMOSEXUAL HETEROSEXUAL HOMOSEXUAL HIS LIFE MATE.

7B) Irene. I enjoyed your criminal competence.

8) LOL THE VILLAIN LOOKS MORE LIKE HOLMES THAN HOLMES DOES.

9) I SEE HOW YOU SET UP FOR A SEQUEL THAR, MOVIE.

10) H/W BANTER. EXCUSE ME. I NEED TO GO AND DIE A BIT FROM THE AWESOME SAUCE SILLY TIMES.

11) A FUCKING COMPETENT WATSON. THIS. \O/!!!

12) SHINY, SHINY (...or make that dirty) 1880'S LONDON. WELL DONE.

13) *DIES* OH GOD HOLMES STOP JUMPING INTO THE THAMES YOUR SKIN IS GOING TO FALL OFF FROM ALL THE DISEASES UGH.

14) LOL MAGIC! PSYCH!

15) TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN; IT'S NOT HOLMES, BUT I WANT SOME MORE. LOVE, NELLA.

16) ...So, that preview of the Clash of the Titans remake. WHO WANTS TO WATCH THE ORIGINAL WITH ME? I need some old school god-dickery and stop motion animation, STAT.

17) The soundtrack was to die for. DO WANT.


Now I need to go to bed. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

'Cause I found mine last weekend.

Or, more truthfully, I made mine.

I'd never thrown ceramics on a wheel before, and last weekend while I was up a New Paltz, joined in the Holy Fellowship of Defeating Resident Evil 5, of Romping Madly through the woods with a camera and an overwhelming willingness to look silly in front of it, and of Quaffing Lots of the Mead and Cider and Beer, neo_ninja's roomie Jessie took us to the SUNY's art studio and taught us the ways of the clay and wheel.

And for my first time, I MADE A GRAIL.

( Why Yes, I have found my Grail. It's right under this cut! )

IF it survives the kiln (I've been having nightmares of air bubbles. *shudder*), it shall emerge with a green glaze, and I shall bear it forth, and shall decorate it with gild and pearls and I shall dub it The Chalice of the Green Knight.

Because really, if you're GOING to be a dork, you may as well go all out.