Linking my Lady Boss to that article was my first mistake…

I found this article from Wired about mini weapons you can make out of office supplies. After a brief internal debate, I sent the link to my Lady Boss. Now, I debated sending her this link NOT because I was afraid she'd think I was wasting my time goofing off on the internet, but because she's already got deadly enough aim as is with regular paper clips and rubber bands. But I resolved to damn the consequences anyway, and shared the article.

We just spent an hour constructing and goofing around with a ruler/rubber band/gaffers' tape crossbow. We're using the bag of chopsticks we got from the last food convention our work place hosted as ammunition. And the speed and distance this thing is capable of is AWESOME. We haven't yet been able to test it in the Drill Hall, so we don't yet know its' absolute range.

But yea, if we were to use a sharpened number 2 pencil rather than dull chopsticks, this thing could fucking HURT.

( Don't have my actual camera, so camera phone will have to suffice… )

Seriously you guys, I want to work wherever my Lady Boss works. Where she goes, I want to fucking follow. I just can't bear the thought of working with people who would think office weaponry would somehow be a BAD idea.


AND TO THE VISIGOTHS AT THE GATE HOPING TO STORM OUR WORKPLACE:

FUCKING BRING IT ON.


EDIT OF O'GOD I'VE CREATED A MONSTER: Lady Boss just put a plastic ball on my head and told me not to move. Luckily the crossbow misfired 3 times so she gave up, but she says I get points for being a good sport. Dude, I just didn't want to get shot in the eye or the ear.

A PLEA FOR HELP FROM ANY ONE WHO KNOWS LATIN!

...or, who merely knows how to bastardize Latin.

Can anyone figure out the Latin translation or equivalent of "Don't get mad, get even"?