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ink_n_imphurm...what to write, what to write?
Organic Chocolate Milk is the drink of the GODS. Organic...how you have enriched my life.
Went home this weekend due to a desperate need to flee from stress and an encroaching illness. Am decidedly more relaxed thanks to green grass and falling leaves and cats that are far to fat not to love. Went to the doctor's thanks to my father of medical persuasions, and it turns out I've got a nifty sinus infection with a dash of bronchitis. At this point, I'd like to offer a public service announcement to all you girl's out there.
Now, now, I know what you girls are thinking: "But I am a modern Womyn who needs no man, and especially does not need a DOCTOR. Ugh, how insulting would it be to become a stupid housewife who decorates her house whilst her hubby brings in piles and piles of dough."
Now, not only have you severely insulted my mother--who could pown your sorry ass back to Brooklyn just by the sheer shrillness of her voice--but you have completely overlooked the Joys and Benefits of Exploiting the Educated Medical Man!
Due to the long, tedious, and cut throat years suffered through pre-med, medical school, residency and finally working out of your own office, the Medical man is very, very socially awkward. He will not feel comfortable in social situations until he is at least 40. This gives you, the loving wife, at most 20 years in which you are the only personality in your Doctor's life, thereby giving you amazing molding abilities!! The Medical Man can be under the fist of the Woman without having the preceptive abilities necessary to realize you are in control!
Also, due to the increasingly cut throat nature of the medical field, if you play your cards right girls, YOU will be the only living thing in the world that your husband will trust unconditionally! Muse on that for a moment, savor the future sway you will hold over your "better" half.
Most importantly however, and this is true for whether or not you and your Medical Man procreate, are benefits that shall be referred to as "Doctoral favors". I wish to illustrate this point with an example:
It is 2 am in the morning, and you have been awaken by a crippling pain in you lower right hip area. Your Medical Man rushes you to the hospital, were you are immediately attended to by the nurses on call, for you are a "DOCTOR'S WIFE." A colleague of your husband, whom you are acquainted with from church, greets you, and diagnoses you with appendixitis. You go into surgery that night. In the following weeks, you get flowers, candy, get well cards, and months later a call from said colleague calling to ask if your medical man wouldn't mind coming over for a bit seeing as his son seems to have twisted his knee and if there's anything he could do about that it would be great...
For you see, while the medical community might be a back-stabbing sort, they are extremely altruistic. It is the highest degree of rude to refuse to drop everything and treat for as little charge as possible both family and friends of other colleagues: this includes house visits, free drug samples, and no copays. Medical men who disregard this sage advice are shunned, and are left wondering why no one is referring any new patients to them. This altruism doesn't end there, oh no ladies! This altruism extends to random gifts of food, holiday baskets, and uber expensive Christmas presents for your children that you won't have to spring the bank to buy for them.
Also, by marrying the Medical Man, you will actually be able to send your child to NYU.
So, future ball busters of America, marry the Medical man. he will thank you, your children will thank you, and you will thank me.
*sigh* If only my own advice was only so easy to follow, but damn me! I always seem to be attracted to, not the doctors of tomorrow, but the lawyers and politicians of tomorrow!!!
Thwarted again!
Now, these could just all be crazed ramblings of my very, very congested mind, but one should always be plotting one's future happiness and comfort.
Organic Chocolate Milk is the drink of the GODS. Organic...how you have enriched my life.
Went home this weekend due to a desperate need to flee from stress and an encroaching illness. Am decidedly more relaxed thanks to green grass and falling leaves and cats that are far to fat not to love. Went to the doctor's thanks to my father of medical persuasions, and it turns out I've got a nifty sinus infection with a dash of bronchitis. At this point, I'd like to offer a public service announcement to all you girl's out there.
Now, now, I know what you girls are thinking: "But I am a modern Womyn who needs no man, and especially does not need a DOCTOR. Ugh, how insulting would it be to become a stupid housewife who decorates her house whilst her hubby brings in piles and piles of dough."
Now, not only have you severely insulted my mother--who could pown your sorry ass back to Brooklyn just by the sheer shrillness of her voice--but you have completely overlooked the Joys and Benefits of Exploiting the Educated Medical Man!
Due to the long, tedious, and cut throat years suffered through pre-med, medical school, residency and finally working out of your own office, the Medical man is very, very socially awkward. He will not feel comfortable in social situations until he is at least 40. This gives you, the loving wife, at most 20 years in which you are the only personality in your Doctor's life, thereby giving you amazing molding abilities!! The Medical Man can be under the fist of the Woman without having the preceptive abilities necessary to realize you are in control!
Also, due to the increasingly cut throat nature of the medical field, if you play your cards right girls, YOU will be the only living thing in the world that your husband will trust unconditionally! Muse on that for a moment, savor the future sway you will hold over your "better" half.
Most importantly however, and this is true for whether or not you and your Medical Man procreate, are benefits that shall be referred to as "Doctoral favors". I wish to illustrate this point with an example:
It is 2 am in the morning, and you have been awaken by a crippling pain in you lower right hip area. Your Medical Man rushes you to the hospital, were you are immediately attended to by the nurses on call, for you are a "DOCTOR'S WIFE." A colleague of your husband, whom you are acquainted with from church, greets you, and diagnoses you with appendixitis. You go into surgery that night. In the following weeks, you get flowers, candy, get well cards, and months later a call from said colleague calling to ask if your medical man wouldn't mind coming over for a bit seeing as his son seems to have twisted his knee and if there's anything he could do about that it would be great...
For you see, while the medical community might be a back-stabbing sort, they are extremely altruistic. It is the highest degree of rude to refuse to drop everything and treat for as little charge as possible both family and friends of other colleagues: this includes house visits, free drug samples, and no copays. Medical men who disregard this sage advice are shunned, and are left wondering why no one is referring any new patients to them. This altruism doesn't end there, oh no ladies! This altruism extends to random gifts of food, holiday baskets, and uber expensive Christmas presents for your children that you won't have to spring the bank to buy for them.
Also, by marrying the Medical Man, you will actually be able to send your child to NYU.
So, future ball busters of America, marry the Medical man. he will thank you, your children will thank you, and you will thank me.
*sigh* If only my own advice was only so easy to follow, but damn me! I always seem to be attracted to, not the doctors of tomorrow, but the lawyers and politicians of tomorrow!!!
Thwarted again!
Now, these could just all be crazed ramblings of my very, very congested mind, but one should always be plotting one's future happiness and comfort.
