Oh, COLD WAR.
Aug. 26th, 2009 02:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ink_n_impSometimes, I don't know HOW humanity escaped the Cold War in one piece. Well, maybe not entirely one piece. Yes, I AM looking at you, CIA. But enough of a whole piece that now people look back on that time and think "Pfft, that was IT?"
But all seriousness aside, think of all the LULZ we'd be missing had we not had that without that Iron Curtain of Fear and Dread! (…anyone else get a mental image of Russia and America shopping for home décor? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?)
Take this palm-sized pamphlet my Lady Boss yoinked from the Archivist upstairs for example.
Here we have a perfect example of what to do in a disaster, even when things probably will have gone to Hell in such a fast car you might as well use this handy pamphlet to cry into, or something.
"Protection against atomic weapons is basically the same as protection against high-explosive weapons."
Except for the whole "fallout" and "radiation poisoning" bit. But other than that it's EXACTLY the same!
"The atomic blast is only one part of the enemy's plan."
Enemy Leader: Excellent, my comrades! "Operation: America, FUCK YOU!" is a success! Now to part 2 of our—
Enemy Dude 1: Ahem.
Enemy Leader: Yes, comrade?
Enemy Dude 1: Well, comrade leader…there isn't actually a part 2 of the plan.
Enemy Leader: What?
Enemy Dude 1: Well, we never thought beyond the "blowing those Capitalist Western dogs to a non-existent hell" part. I mean, we HAVE just blown them to non-existent hell. Anything more would just seem like…overkill.
Enemy Leader: You're joking.
Enemy Dude 1: Comrade, I don't get paid to joke. In fact, I don't get paid for anything. I especially don't get paid to come up with part 2's of ANY plans.
I greatly enjoy the repeats of "STOP BREATHING" and "CONTINUE MISSION". One can't help but feel that if you have to hold your breath long enough to slap a mask on and/or decontaminate oneself, just turn over, man. YOU'RE DONE. If the chemical/radiation/biological burns/infections/hideous pain don't get you, don't worry! The cancer certainly will.
So remember kiddos! If Indiana Jones can survive thanks to a lead-lined refrigerator, SO CAN YOU!
5th movie: Indiana Jones and the Leukemia of Death?
But all seriousness aside, think of all the LULZ we'd be missing had we not had that without that Iron Curtain of Fear and Dread! (…anyone else get a mental image of Russia and America shopping for home décor? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?)
Take this palm-sized pamphlet my Lady Boss yoinked from the Archivist upstairs for example.
Here we have a perfect example of what to do in a disaster, even when things probably will have gone to Hell in such a fast car you might as well use this handy pamphlet to cry into, or something.
"Protection against atomic weapons is basically the same as protection against high-explosive weapons."
Except for the whole "fallout" and "radiation poisoning" bit. But other than that it's EXACTLY the same!
"The atomic blast is only one part of the enemy's plan."
Enemy Leader: Excellent, my comrades! "Operation: America, FUCK YOU!" is a success! Now to part 2 of our—
Enemy Dude 1: Ahem.
Enemy Leader: Yes, comrade?
Enemy Dude 1: Well, comrade leader…there isn't actually a part 2 of the plan.
Enemy Leader: What?
Enemy Dude 1: Well, we never thought beyond the "blowing those Capitalist Western dogs to a non-existent hell" part. I mean, we HAVE just blown them to non-existent hell. Anything more would just seem like…overkill.
Enemy Leader: You're joking.
Enemy Dude 1: Comrade, I don't get paid to joke. In fact, I don't get paid for anything. I especially don't get paid to come up with part 2's of ANY plans.
I greatly enjoy the repeats of "STOP BREATHING" and "CONTINUE MISSION". One can't help but feel that if you have to hold your breath long enough to slap a mask on and/or decontaminate oneself, just turn over, man. YOU'RE DONE. If the chemical/radiation/biological burns/infections/hideous pain don't get you, don't worry! The cancer certainly will.
So remember kiddos! If Indiana Jones can survive thanks to a lead-lined refrigerator, SO CAN YOU!
5th movie: Indiana Jones and the Leukemia of Death?
