She Likes Coffee and I Like Tea

So, the wife of my dad's partner has decided to take an INTENSE interest in My Future. She's one of the hospital administrator's at the SUNY Stony Brook Hospital, and for the past two years (to my embarrassment) she's kept insisting that I should give her the names of the people and programs I'm interested in applying for in the SUNY Anthro. department, so she can wedge me in the door. I, of course, while grateful for her offered help, am of the pessimistic mind set that this can only End In Tears.

Now, for those of you for who this name means something, Richard Leakey is a visiting professor of SUNY Stony Brook. And she's been trying to make my planets align with his for the last two years, if you know what I mean, and yes, IT'S FRICKIN' WEIRD, and in the sense that my interests in Archaeology don't really line up well with his work in Kenya.

Anyway, the POINT of this post is that tonight at the Chelsea Piers there's a dinner being given in Richard Leakey's honor. My dad's partner and this rather-zealously-interested-in-My-Future wife of his are going, and they've been hunting me down all day, trying to give me the spare tickets they have. To which I say

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! FUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCK what am I GOING to do!?! *FRETS!!* ZOMG, CAN THIS BE ANY WEIRDER?!? WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO AT THIS THING?!?! I'M A LOWLY ANTHROPOLOGY UNDERGRAD, I'M TEH STUPID AND INEXPERIENCED AND ONLY CARE ABOUT DIGGING AND FAUNAL REMAINS!!! STONE TOOLS BORE THE LIVING BE-JEEZUS OUT OF ME!!! AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY AND HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO ACT AND HOLY COW I'M SOOOOOO OUT OF MY LEAGUE RIGHT NOW--

...if this extra ticket falls through, and I'm allowed to offer it to someone else, any anthro. minded sorts on my f-list willing to bear this with me? Or at least, give me some advice about what I can expect from this dinner thing? Besides a whole lot of people sitting, eating and going "OMG HEHE LEAKEY IS TEH BEST EVAH!"

...I don't know how she expects this to further my entirely nonexistent career.